Introduction to complete victory over pornography, masturbation and other sexual sin
{A recent (2024) Barna Group survey indicates that 54% of practicing Christians report viewing pornography. Of those, 75% of Christian men and 40% of Christian women acknowledge viewing it on some level.}
{340,110,988 people in the U.S.}
{62% self professed Christian}
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{210,868,813 professing Christians in the U.S.}
=
(Roughly) {113,869,159 professing Christians have reported viewing pornography, in the U.S. currently }
Exploring the lifestyle changes, six facets,that guarantee victory in Christ.
- (1) Abstaining from the internet and social media
- (2) Finding the help you need
(Taking care of your mental health)
- (3) Guarding your software
(Having REAL accountability)
- (4) Reading the Scripture
- (5) Identifying the REAL problem
- (6) Prayer
(Learning that obedience leads to deliverance.)
Our example of that comes in 2 Kings chapter 5.
Naaman Healed of Leprosy
2 Kings 5:1 Now Naaman, captain of the army of the king of Aram, was a great man with his master, and highly respected, because by him the LORD had given victory to Aram. The man was also a valiant warrior, but he was a leper.
2Kings 5:2 Now the Arameans had gone out in bands and had taken captive a little girl from the land of Israel; and she waited on Naaman's wife.
2 Kings 5:3 She said to her mistress, "I wish that my master were with the prophet who is in Samaria! Then he would cure him of his leprosy."
2 Kings 5:4 Naaman went in and told his master, saying, "Thus and thus spoke the girl who is from the land of Israel."
2 Kings 5:5 Then the king of Aram said, "Go now, and I will send a letter to the king of Israel." He departed and took with him ten talents of silver and six thousand shekels of gold and ten changes of clothes.
2 Kings 5:6 He brought the letter to the king of Israel, saying, "And now as this letter comes to you, behold, I have sent Naaman my servant to you, that you may cure him of his leprosy."
2 Kings 5:7 When the king of Israel read the letter, he tore his clothes and said, "Am I God, to kill and to make alive, that this man is sending word to me to cure a man of his leprosy? But consider now, and see how he is seeking a quarrel against me."
2 Kings 5:8 It happened when Elisha the man of God heard that the king of Israel had torn his clothes, that he sent word to the king, saying, "Why have you torn your clothes? Now let him come to me, and he shall know that there is a prophet in Israel."
2 Kings 5:9 So Naaman came with his horses and his chariots and stood at the doorway of the house of Elisha.
2 Kings 5:10 Elisha sent a messenger to him, saying, "Go and wash in the Jordan seven times, and your flesh will be restored to you and you will be clean."
2 Kings 5:11 But Naaman was furious and went away and said, "Behold, I thought, 'He will surely come out to me and stand and call on the name of the LORD his God, and wave his hand over the place and cure the leper.'
2 Kings 5:12 "Are not Abanah and Pharpar, the rivers of Damascus, better than all the waters of Israel? Could I not wash in them and be clean?" So he turned and went away in a rage.
2 Kings 5:13 Then his servants came near and spoke to him and said, "My father, had the prophet told you to do some great thing, would you not have done it? How much more then,when he says to you, 'Wash, and be clean'?"
2 Kings 5:14 So he went down and dipped himself seven times in the Jordan, according to the word of the man of God; and his flesh was restored like the flesh of a little child and he was clean.
1 Corinthians 6:18 Flee immorality. Every other sin that a man commits is outside the body, but the immoral man sins against his own body.
Thayer)
φεύγω
pheugō
Thayer Definition:
1) to flee away, seek safety by flight
2) metaphorically to flee (to shun or avoid by flight) something abhorrent, especially vices
3) to be saved by flight, to escape safely out of danger
4) poetically, to flee away, vanish
Mat 5:27 "You have heard that it was said, 'YOU SHALL NOT COMMIT ADULTERY';
Mat 5:28 but I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.
Mat 5:29 "If your right eye makes you stumble, tear it out and throw it from you; for it is better for you to lose one of the parts of your body, than for your whole body to be thrown into hell.
Mat 5:30 "If your right hand makes you stumble, cut it off and throw it from you; for it is better for you to lose one of the parts of your body, than for your whole body to go into hell.
Potiphar’s wife
Genesis 39:1 Now Joseph had been taken down to Egypt; and Potiphar, an Egyptian officer of Pharaoh, the captain of the bodyguard, bought him from the Ishmaelites, who had taken him down there.
Genesis 39:2 The LORD was with Joseph, so he became a successful man. And he was in the house of his master, the Egyptian.
Genesis39:3 Now his master saw that the LORD was with him and how the LORD caused all that he did to prosper in his hand.
Genesis 39:4 So Joseph found favor in his sight and became his personal servant; and he made him overseer over his house, and all that he owned he put in his charge.
Genesis39:5 It came about that from the time he made him overseer in his house and over all that he owned, the LORD blessed the Egyptian's house on account of Joseph; thus the LORD'S blessing was upon all that he owned, in the house and in the field.
Genesis 39:6 So he left everything he owned in Joseph's charge; and with him there he did not concern himself with anything except the food which he ate. Now Joseph was handsome in form and appearance.
Genesis 39:7 It came about after these events that his master's wife looked with desire at Joseph, and she said, "Lie with me."
Genesis 39:8 But he refused and said to his master's wife, "Behold, with me here, my master does not concern himself with anything in the house, and he has put all that he owns in my charge.
Genesis 39:9 "There is no one greater in this house than I, and he has withheld nothing from me except you, because you are his wife. How then could I do this great evil and sin against God?"
Genesis 39:10 As she spoke to Joseph day after day, he did not listen to her to lie beside her or be with her.
Genesis39:11 Now it happened one day that he went into the house to do his work, and none of the men of the household was there inside.
Genesis 39:12 She caught him by his garment, saying, "Lie with me!" And he left his garment in her hand and fled, and went outside.
נוּס
nus (630c); a prim. root; to flee, escape: — abated (1), drives (1), escape (1), escaped (2), fled (78), flee (54), flee away (1), fleeing (5), flees (5), fugitive (2), fugitives (2), indeed flee (1), put to flight (1), run away (1), save (1), taken refuge (1).
This is to say that we, as Christians, must bend every effort as if life itself depends on us escaping the evil grasp of any and all sexual sin, ie, lust, fornication, adultery, pornography and masterbation.
(A)
In the process of developing this, I was constantly visualizing the opposition, from within the church, rising up against me, that would claim that that, quote,
“ we don’t need any of that, all we need is Jesus, the Holy Spirit”, ect.
In a well intended attempt to project the power of Christ over the power and temptation of sexual sin, in the form of a name it and claim it doctrine that simply states that if we were to merely state the name of Christ, that the power of Christ, the Holy Spirit and God, is way more powerful than any sin and could cast it away in a nanosecond,without ever having to return.
Although we do not and never will deny that the power of Christ is powerful enough and/or never claim that He could never relieve anyone of the clutches of pornography or any other sexual sin, in a nanosecond, we are stating that God indeed can and will deliver.
We are also not saying that this sin is bigger, or stronger, or any different than any other sin, that is to say, in any other way outside of the fact that 1 Corinthians 6:18 states that it it is a sin that is against your own body and that God indeed will deliver us from this temptation, yet, the tools that He chooses to deliver us will, concerning these particular types of sins, begins with obedience.
And if indeed we are delivered instantaneously, in a nanosecond, and God can.
We give glory to Him.
However, to the 99.99% of the rest of the body of Christ, that God is calling to become delivered from these snares, God is also calling us,simultaneously to obedience.
For it is in Obedience that we find deliverance.
And if we are delivered instantaneously a nanosecond, we still have our flesh.
And our flesh is flawed.
And, doctrinally speaking, if we have unconfessed sin, in our hearts, God will not hear our prayers, including our plea for deliverance.
Psalms 66:18 If I regard wickedness in my heart, The Lord will not hear;
Think of it in this way.
If you were stuck in the sin of gluttony for thirty years, God could definitely deliver you from the sin of gluttony instantaneously.
But after that instant, you would still be 300 pounds overweight.
In the same way, God could definitely deliver you from the grasp of pornography and other sexual sin.
But we would still be in our flawed, fleshly bodies.
And, on top of that, if you truly are delivered, I would still want to hurl myself into a lifestyle of obedience out of the sheer joy of being delivered.
For whatever side of the coin you fall on, following these principles are only going to result in you becoming much closer to the Lord.
And I don’t think any Christian would want to rebuke that!
Getting started
Confess your sins.
1John 1:9 If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
Romans 10:9 that if you confess with your mouth Jesus as Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved;
This is actually one of the first steps towards repentance.
To anyone who is in a place where they have doubts about their salvation, this is one of the first steps towards repentance from that sinful nature and towards a life in Christ.
Not only that, but, in order to continue in a life in victory in Christ, the Bible says that we must confess our sins to others.
James 5:16 Therefore, confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another so that you may be healed. The effective prayer of a righteous man can accomplish much.
The first step
(1) Abstaining from the internet and social media
This means (A) fasting from
Social Media
(Facebook, YouTube, Google, Twitter, Ticktock, ect. Any games that you may have one you phone, that you have to practice abstinence from these things for 40 days, 90 days and maybe even a lifetime, in your first step towards obedience)
And (B) replace those things with scripture, and we have specific scripture reading, for every day of the year, and we can show you how to develop your own reference as well.
And the other part of (B) is the other forms and “downtime” activities that you can adjust as a lifestyle.
One of which is, replacing your YouTube watching, or social media time with listening to Christian podcasts, that includes getting rid of secular podcasts, if you have podcasts on your phone.
I also have a list of recommendations.
- The Jesus People Podcast
- VOM (Voices of the Martyrs) podcast
- The Living Waters Podcast
- Road to recovery (Gospel for Asia)
- Voddie Bacham Ministries
- Live Free
- Wretched Radio
I also recommend that you make a list of Christian Music.
I recommend praise and worship music from 90’s and 2000’s
I also recommend researching
- lyric content for groups and artists. (Make sure lyrics line up theologically with scripture)
- History of any controversy
- What ministries the bands, singing groups or artists come from. (ie. Does the Church or the Ministry that group comes out from teach sound doctrine? (examples, Virgin Birth, Salvation through grace, the Deity of Christ, ect.)
The steps in media and internet fasting goes as follows.
Read the passages of scripture appointing to that day,
You can read more than what is appointed, but at least read that.
Read all of the appointed scripture, either first thing in the morning, on your lunch break, when you get home from work or school, or any time that you have available.
MAKE IT PRIORITY!
You may also read or listen to the passages of scripture however many times as you want.
REMEMBER
Your time on your phone or devices should be limited to-
- Christian Podcasts
- Christian playlist
(On any listening outlet)
- Script reading
The restrictions include ANY and ALL social media, ie. Facebook, YouTube, Ticktock, exc, that includes internet browsing, google, ect. and all games!
DON’T WORRY!
We won’t leave you empty handed!
We will also provide several ideas on getting you up, off and out of the door with plenty of daily activity ideas.
REMEMBER
This is not penitence, this is repentance.
This is not meant to be a jail sentence but an opportunity to reset your mind, withdraw from dopamine, restore your mind and put away the things of the world.
Ephesians 2:2 in which you formerly walked according to the course of this world, according to the prince of the power of the air, of the spirit that is now working in the sons of disobedience.
Romans 12:2 And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect.
Remember during your time of Internet fasting, that this is an opportunity to find joy in the Lord and feast on His Presence.
Philippians 4:4 Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice!
KEEP THIS IN MIND
The more you practice Internet fasting, the more rejuvenated and renewed your mind becomes, your mind and body begins to not crave dopamine as much and the “fog” begins to lift from your thought process.
BUT HOW DO I GET THE NEWS IF IM ABSTAINING FROM THE INTERNET ?
That’s a very good question!
Keeping up with current events is not as difficult as it may seem, even without the use of the internet, especially if you live and/or work in the public.
People everywhere talk constantly about the current events.
If you live with someone who isn’t tethered to this regiment, or that may be a great way to keep up.
Also, there are several ways that you can utilize the devices that you have.
Keep in mind that you are not restricting yourself from using your devices, that is unless they themselves are a trigger.
There are also some Conservative podcasts that I would recommend as well.
- American Conservative University
Would be one.
- Faith in Action
Some of the other Christian podcasts that I had mentioned do speak about current events, especially current events that are happening around the world, most of which, the large majority of Westerners would never know about.
But when it comes to listening to Conservative podcasts, or even Christian podcasts, we must use prayer and discernment.
When you do find good, reliable,conservative resources to follow, it would also be a good idea to subscribe to their newsletter and maybe ONLY read the newsletter emails, and not go to the page, in order to keep you from scrolling.
It may also be a good idea to inventory the time that you spend on your phone, computer, tablet or any other device, so that you can also monitor the time that you spend even utilizing them as well.
So that you limit your time that you use your devices to only accomplish your goals for that day.
That is to say, that when you are done with the Bible study or listening to the podcast, put them away!
If you wish, however, you could actually use your playlists while you’re cleaning or spending time around your house, it can also be helpful to send the playlists, on whatever platform you have it on, to your smart tv, if you have one, and you know how to use it.
So why is abstaining from the internet important?
That is a very good question.
Think of it in this way.
We’ve often heard, that if you were an alcoholic, and you want to abstain from alcohol, the best route would to LITERALLY take another route!
In other words.
If the route that you take to work every morning has a liquor store on the way, find another route to work!
Quitting alcohol may take some drastic changes, such as cutting ties with friends and even family members who drink!
It is simply taking into practice what Christ spoke about in Matthew 5
Matthew 5:28 but I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.
Matthew 5:29 "If your right eye makes you stumble, tear it out and throw it from you; for it is better for you to lose one of the parts of your body, than for your whole body to be thrown into hell.
Matthew 5:30 "If your right hand makes you stumble, cut it off and throw it from you; for it is better for you to lose one of the parts of your body, than for your whole body to go into hell.
(2) Finding the help you need
(Taking care of your mental health)
This consists of
(A) finding good, Biblical Christian counseling.
Proverbs 19:20 Listen to counsel and accept discipline, That you may be wise the rest of your days.
עֵצָה
etsah
(420a); from H3289; counsel, advice: — advice (11), consultation (2), counsel (52), counselor *(1), counselors *(1), counsels (1), designs (1), plan (8), plans (2), purpose (6), scheme (1), schemes (1), strategy (1).
Matthew 4:24 The news about Him spread throughout all Syria; and they brought to Him all who were ill, those suffering with various diseases and pains, demoniacs, epileptics, paralytics; and He healed them.
Proverbs 17:22 A joyful heart is good medicine, But a broken spirit dries up the bones.
גֵּהָה
gehah
(155c); from H1455; a healing, cure: — medicine
REMEMBER
If at any point, opposition rises up against these instructions, refer back to the passage labeled (A)
Examine the example that Christ gave us in His parable of the Good Samaritan.
Luke 10:30 Jesus replied and said, "A man was going down from Jerusalem to Jericho, and fell among robbers, and they stripped him and beat him, and went away leaving him half dead.
Luke 10:31 "And by chance a priest was going down on that road, and when he saw him, he passed by on the other side.
Luke 10:32 "Likewise a Levite also, when he came to the place and saw him, passed by on the other side.
Luke 10:33 "But a Samaritan, who was on a journey, came upon him; and when he saw him, he felt compassion,
Luke 10:34 and came to him and
bandaged up his wounds, pouring oil and wine on them; and he put him on his own beast, and brought him to an inn and took care of him.
Luke 10:35 "On the next day he took out two denarii and gave them to the innkeeper and said, 'Take care of him; and whatever more you spend, when I return I will repay you.'
Luke 10:36 "Which of these three do you think proved to be a neighbor to the man who fell into the robbers' hands?"
Luke 10:37 And he said, "The one who showed mercy toward him." Then Jesus said to him, "Go and do the same."
In this parable, we see that Jesus is giving us a good example of a man who assisted a person, beaten to nearly the point of death, and provided the medical help that was necessary!
Even today, even in the secular world, someone who does a good deed, especially in this manner, we often refer to them as being a “Good Samaritan”.
We do acknowledge the instructions in the church, to lay hands on people and pray for them, as we are instructed to do in James 5:14 Is anyone among you sick? Then he must call for the elders of the church and they are to pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord;
(AND)
James 5:16 Therefore, confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another so that you may be healed. The effective prayer of a righteous man can accomplish much.
We very much so, encourage this, in every way!
We also acknowledge that the Bible is full of encouragement in receiving medical care as well!
1 Timothy 5:23 No longer drink water exclusively, but use a little wine for the sake of your stomach and your frequent ailments.
Mental health conditions
- Bipolar disorder: An increase in sexual thoughts, fantasies, and risky behaviors may be a common symptom of manic or hypomanic episodes.
- Impulse-control disorders: Hypersexuality may often be considered a symptom of impulse-control issues, which can include compulsive shopping or gambling.
- Substance use disorders: Abuse of drugs like cocaine or methamphetamine can increase dopamine levels and boost sexual desire. Hypersexuality may also be used as a coping mechanism in individuals with addiction.
- Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD):Hypersexuality can co-occur with OCD.
- Anxiety and depression: Hypersexuality may be used as a coping strategy to distract from difficult feelings associated with anxiety or depression.
- Personality disorders: Specific personality disorders, such as borderline personality disorder, which are associated with impulsivity, can co-occur with compulsive sexual behaviors.
- Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD): A history of trauma or sexual abuse can be a risk factor for hypersexuality.
Neurological conditions
- Dopamine dysregulation syndrome: This syndrome is a side effect of some long-term dopaminergic medications, typically used to treat Parkinson's disease or restless legs syndrome. It is characterized by impulsive behaviors, including hypersexuality.
- Dementia and brain injuries: Conditions involving damage to the frontal and temporal lobes, which are responsible for impulse control, can lead to hypersexuality. This includes certain types of dementia (e.g., frontotemporal dementia), traumatic
- Epilepsy: Changes in sexual function, including hypersexuality, have been associated with temporal lobe epilepsy, particularly after certain surgical procedures.
- Huntington's disease: This neurodegenerative disorder, which affects the brain's basal ganglia, can sometimes be associated with hypersexual behavior.
Sociological and environmental factors
- History of abuse: A history of childhood physical or sexual abuse is frequently associated with hypersexuality later in life.
- Family dysfunction: Troubled family relationships or having family members with addiction issues may also be a risk factor.
- Ease of access: Advances in technology and social media provide easy access to intense sexual content, which can be a contributing factor for some individuals.
- Socioeconomic status: Some studies suggest that individuals with lower socioeconomic status or higher life stress may have a higher risk for hypersexual behaviors.
In my years of experience working with individuals with experienced mental developments, mentoring individuals with various levels of social and mental issues, I have seen people who have struggled to understand the things of the Lord and others who prosper in ministry despite, and in some cases, because of their disabilities.
Although many individuals with various levels diagnosed or even undiagnosed disabilities live in positions of affluence and influence, many individuals in the Body of Christ, refer to many of these individuals as “the least of these”.
As this is not always the case, our Savior clearly tells us, in Matthew 25.
Matthew 25:37 "Then the righteous will answer Him, 'Lord, when did we see You hungry, and feed You, or thirsty, and give You something to drink?
Matthew 25:38 'And when did we see You a stranger, and invite You in, or naked, and clothe You?
Matthew 25:39 'When did we see You sick, or in prison, and come to You?'
Matthew 25:40 "The King will answer and say to them, 'Truly I say to you, to the extent that you did it to one of these brothers of Mine, even the least of them, you did it to Me.'
When operating in any kind of deliverance ministry, we must greatly exercise a great deal of discernment and care in order to avoid blanket statements confusing individuals who experience mental health disorders with those under demonic influences and vice-versa…
It is also just as equally vital to prayfully consider speaking with a Christian Counselor about any disorders you may have or have been diagnosed with in order to direct you to the proper medical assistance, preferably one that they may be associated with, in order to avoid misdiagnosis, over or under medicated, and/or prescribed the wrong medication.
It is also extremely vital to recognize the value in physical exercise.
It doesn’t have to be strenuous.
It can be as simple as a daily walk!
One hidden facet of “fleeing” involves LITERALLY walking away!
(During my journey, I concocted a series
of activities!
One good idea is to map out the weekends and write down activity ideas for yourself, in order to have something to look forward to on the weekends!)
SIDE NOTE
Sleep is also very important!
Getting the right amount of sleep in your daily routine is another part of your mental wellbeing!
Supplementing your vitamin intake is also encouraged!
Melatonin supplements may also assist in maintaining a sleep routine.
( as per doctor’s recommendations)
(3) Guarding your software
(Having REAL accountability)
The third facet of fleeing from porn addiction and to Jesus is Guarding your software, coupled with Having REAL accountability.
The first part of that is guarding your software.
Part of that is monitoring and even having your devices monitored.
REMEMBER
James 5:16 Therefore, confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another so that you may be healed. The effective prayer of a righteous man can accomplish much.
This doesn’t simply mean that we telling someone that we have a reoccurring sin in our lives.
This means finding someone who will come beside you and be an advocate in your fight against pornography.
This cannot be just a random person off of the street.
This must be someone, who you may already have in mind as you read or hear this.
Someone who is an older brother or sister in Christ, ie. a Pastor, Mentor, friend, godly member of your church, who is mature, non judgmental and most of all, extremely knowledgeable about Christ, the Holy Spirit, God and His Word ect. Or a trusted Christian Counselor would be some of the examples of people in your life that would be beneficial to speak with on the subject matter.
Remember to be honest!
( This doesn’t mean that your Christian Counselor necessarily needs, wants or even has to know all of the gory details about what all you’re “into”.
This just simply means that you acknowledge what your Counselor is asking you to acknowledge)
(Example)
If you are having a physical affair, with a real life human being, along side of porn addiction.
Parents spouses may not always make the greatest advocates.
If you are a parent of a minor who has expressed a desire for help with this issue, it may be more beneficial for you to seek godly counsel for and with them.
If you are someone whose spouse needs help, the same advice applies.
Marriage counseling is also strongly encouraged.
This facet also includes device and internet monitoring.
During my own personal struggles, I have found internet monitoring software that involves the utilization of accountability and advocacy partners to be extremely effective and beneficial.
The utilization of apps like covenant eyes, who have helped nearly 2 million people for around a quarter of a century, for example, can be a very beneficial tool in monitoring activity.
While using these software applications, I strongly encourage individuals to utilize someone from the mentor, pastor, Christian Counselor etc. list above,as an advocate to help monitor your device and internet.
(4) Reading Scripture
It is important to note that continual Bible reading is vital to recovery.
Whether you’re going through a 40 day internet fasting, 90 day internet fasting period or planning on abstaining from the internet as a lifestyle, we have a day by day scripture reading plan that, not only coincides with your journey, but shows you God’s mind on the subject matter, giving you insight on what His Word says about the subjects of lust, victory, the fear of God and loving others.
It’s important to keep in mind that this is not designed to be a strict and rigid, brow- beating, fill in the blank, guide.
This is, however, designed to be one part of your Internet fasting routine.
In the times where you would usually watch YouTube, look at facebook, Tick-tock, instagram, ect. Instead, utilize this
time to practice reading the scripture references that are assigned for that day on your scripture reading calendar.
(5) Identifying the REAL problem
Pornography addiction, as we find in nearly any other type of addiction, usually stems from one or more “hidden” areas in a person’s past which caused the individual to want to dull the pain via “self- medicating” with the utilization of drugs or alcohol or substance abuse of any kind, to one degree or another.
Usually, in the case of porn addiction, what we are actually talking about is a real addiction to dopamine.
What pornography does, is it gives you a dopamine rush in disguise as a false sense of sexual satisfaction.
This addiction to dopamine can be temporary eased by the internet that you watch, YouTube, Facebook, ect., until the point where your dopamine levels become leveled out and your body begins to crave more!
These levels begin to increase to a point where you begin attempting to fill that “void” with stronger and stronger doses until those sensations give way to familiar habits that trigger desires that involve porn.
One of the many contributing factors to the seemingly endless cycle of watching porn is the unbalanced levels of melatonin and serotonin, which leads to a lack of sleep, which then contributes to your body’s false sense of “need” to artificially overstimulate dopamine levels.
(EXAMPLE)
Staying up until 2 AM, scrolling through Facebook, when you have to be up at 6, causing you to lose sleep, which in turn, causes you to become groggy the next day, which gives the illusion of having a “bad day” which causes you body to want to “escape” where then you default to the “drug of choice “ i-e.. dopamine!
This is only one part of the first example of what the “REAL PROBLEM” is!
The other half of that is the issue of why we started to view pornography in the first place.
In every sin, God has given us a natural outlet, for example, gluttony is a sin, eating is not.
The Bible also tells us that anger, within and of itself is not a sin, yet the acting upon it is!
Ephesians 4:26 BE ANGRY, AND yet DO NOT SIN; do not let the sun go down on your anger.
Such is the same with sexuality!
We are actually encouraged, in the Bible, to have physical relationships with our spouses.
1 Corinthians 7:3 The husband must fulfill his duty to his wife, and likewise also the wife to her husband.
1 Corinthians 7:4 The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does; and likewise also the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does.
1 Corinthians 7:5 Stop depriving one another, except by agreement for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer, and come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.
Yet, sexuality outside of marriage, including fornication and adultery, homosexuality, pornography and masturbation forbidden by God.
But back to the question.
Where does the desire to self- medicate with pornography come from?
After all of my struggling.
After all my studies and years of research.
After years of counseling, I have finally pinpointed one particular phase that I have narrowed down to.
“FINDING CLOSURE”
As we see in one of the examples above, that sin usually has a natural outlet, ie,eating isn’t a sin, however, gluttony is…
Our bodies have physical, emotional and spiritual needs.
If we don’t perceive these needs as being fulfilled in our lives, our bodies tendencies is to attempt to fill that void.
In recent years, I’ve watched videos that addressed the importance of a father to express his love for his children, especially towards their daughters.
In one video a young lady was watching another video of another young lady,that showed both of these young ladies parallel to each other as one was displaying her reaction to the other video.
This particular young lady showed a video of another young lady who smiled politely as she bragged about her “body count” being around the 500 range!
The 500 range video slid away, leaving only the face of the other young lady reacting and responding to what she had seen.
I can’t remember exactly how she worded it but her response was something to the effect of her own “body count” not being so extreme!
(Side note, God’s ideal body count for your life, is ZERO, before marriage and ONE, for as many times as you both agree to do so afterwards)
She had credited this to the fact that her dad had practiced this one particular technique, as she grew up, which was the simple act of telling her these same three words, over and over, day in and day out, all day every day, for her entire life, and those words, as if we couldn’t have guessed it by now, were the words “I love you!”
Another similar video of a man that I had followed on YouTube, was a short from a man who served in the military, told a very short story about a time where he had a conversation with a fellow service member, who had a reputation, and had asked him in no uncertain terms, to advise him on what to say or do so that he could prevent his own daughter from winding up in the arms of someone like this particular fellow, and he answered him saying, “ tell her that you love her “ and do this often!..
My need for finding closure came at an early age.
My mom and dad were both flawed but, as for me, they were perfect!
They weren’t perfect in the sense being without sin or superhuman or anything.
We all know that there is only ONE who qualifies as such!
I simply mean that as of any “mistakes” that they have made, I couldn’t pinpoint any of them, although I know that they were imperfect by default!
No!…
My need for “closure” came in the form of simply not fitting in, being diagnosed with having a learning disorder, having to be put into different classes, being held back, not being able to go to recess, in the first grade, until I finished my math work, trying over and over again to find a girlfriend and failing miserably at that as well!
The fact of the matter is, that each and every one of us have things in our lives, our past, and our history, that may not have, and sometimes, in some cases, may not ever be able to get over emotionally!
In my studies to get my degree in Christian Counseling, I studied temperament and learned how all of us are born with certain temperaments that come, automatically with temperament needs and that most of our sin stems from, along with our flesh, our sin nature and what not, is our attempt to fulfill our temperament needs in an ungodly way.
Therefore, we, as humans, have a tendency to want to self medicate.
Sometimes that can be in the form of drugs and alcohol.
Other times it could be with taking something that isn’t ours.
Other times, it can be with cursing and abusive language!
And in other times, our way of self-medicating can come in the form of Pornography!
As we see in 1 Corinthians 6: 18 that sexual sin is a specific type of sin that is against our own bodies!
For example, if we steal anything, that item can often be found on our person, in our possession, even if we attempt to hide it!
That is to say, if we do not get rid of it or try to destroy this item first.
But if we lust, we can view a person, think a dirty thought and that person and no one will ever know what we thought!
Outside of ourselves and the Lord, of course!
But, unlike other drugs, dopamine usually never has any paraphernalia!
Marajuana, for example, has a strong, very recognizable odor.
If you walk into someone’s home, who had been smoking marajuana, not only you can smell it, you may even see rolling papers, pipes, ashtrays ect.
With other drugs, you may see pipes, needles, with alcohol, you will more than likely see beer bottles, bottles of wine, vodka, ect.
With Pornography, a person can easily erase their browsing history and within seconds be knee deep in the Word of God and no one would ever know!
Meanwhile, the pleasure receptors in your brain can be firing off, literally at light speed and leaving your mind in a dopamine fog.
This is one of the many ways that make this particular sin unique!
This is also why finding the root, what the REAL PROBLEM is, can be on extremely important facet in breaking free from the clutches of pornography!
This is not to say that, in order to get out of this sin that we need years of traditional therapy, as opposed to genuine, one on one, discipleship and real authentic accountability.
On the contrary!
God calls us into a lifestyle of fellowship with the body of Christ, as an outlet for our temperament needs to be met in a godly way!..
That is one of the main reasons why He says in John 14:27 "Peace I leave with you; My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Do not let your heart be troubled, nor let it be fearful.
Peace as the “world gives it” leads us to self-medicate with sin and whatever our “drug of choice” is in our lives.
Peace as He gives us leads us to repent from our devices and towards Christ!
Simply finding the “real problem” leads us to years of traditional therapy that actually never heals anybody!
But sharing our struggles with the body of Christ, not only helps us gain victory, but helps others know that you have had struggles in your own life and, when they have heard how God has brought you up from the murky depths of those things, help other believers as well!
Therefore, the Bible says these things,
James 5:16 Therefore, confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another so that you may be healed. The effective prayer of a righteous man can accomplish much.
Revelation 12:11 "And they overcame him because of the blood of the Lamb and because of the word of their testimony, and they did not love their life even when faced with death.
(6) Prayer
We must understand one thing about this particular list.
All of these things that are listed are not steps, they are facets!
In other words, all of these things the we have mentioned above, are things that we need to be doing simultaneously as a lifestyle!
We don’t need to go into Internet fasting without and leave out the other facets.
For example, one of the most important thing to remember while abstaining from the internet is to follow the scripture reading, as part of and in part, in place of the times that you would be on the internet, as well as listening to the Podcasts or playlists!
If these were steps, prayer would actually be listed as number one!
One of the main reasons why I’ve chosen to address prayer as the final facet, is to stress importance and so the final thoughts, after reading this, or leaving any meetings where these things are talked about!
We cannot stress it enough!
Every facet listed must be saturated with prayer!
Before you start your journey in abstaining from the internet, before you read scripture, while seeking a counselor, mentor or anyone to speak with, in EVERY facet listed,
EVERYTHING SHOULD BE SATURATED IN PRAYER!
1 Thessalonians 5:17 pray without ceasing.
Deliverance
de liv•er ance | da'liv(a)rans ||
noun
1 the action of being rescued or set free: prayers for deliverance.
2 a formal or authoritative utterance:
the low drawl he employed for such deliverances.
ORIGIN
Middle English: from Old French delivrance, from the verb deliver (see deliver).
2 Corinthians 1:10 who delivered us from so great a peril of death, and will deliver us, He on whom we have set our hope. And He will yet deliver us,
Philippians 1:18 What then? Only that in every way, whether in pretense or in truth, Christ is proclaimed; and in this I rejoice. Yes, and I will rejoice,
Philippians 1:19 for I know that this will turn out for my deliverance through your prayers and the provision of the Spirit of Jesus Christ,
Thayer)
σωτηρία
sōtēria
Thayer Definition:
1) deliverance, preservation, safety, salvation
1a) deliverance from the molestation of enemies
1b) in an ethical sense, that which concludes to the souls safety or salvation
1b1) of Messianic salvation
2) salvation as the present possession of all true Christians
3) future salvation, the sum of benefits and blessings which the Christians, redeemed from all earthly ills, will enjoy after the visible return of Christ from heaven in the consummated and eternal kingdom of God.
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